Saturday, December 13, 2014


With it being December and the winter quickly approaching in a week or so, what better time to talk about "LOVE" then now?  This time of the year is known to be a time when couples fall in love, share their holiday's with families, cuddle, snuggle, make love, and then on into the Valentine's bliss.  After February 14th some couples make it and some don't.  So let's talk love.  ...

I recently read a post by Essie of Golden Kaleidoscope (read it here).  She made so many excellent points about the confidence level of plus size women and dating.  Her post definitely hit the spot.  For me, it has been some time since I was in a serious relationship, especially one where I could use the "L" word.  Being a plus size woman even with leaps and bounds of confidence, dating is an area that can be sensitive if you allow it and almost an impossibility of finding "LOVE" if you don't work through those issues.  We have heard all the sayings in our lifetime, "guys love big girls in the winter time," or "big girls feel like teddy bears" or even "better get you a big girl, they can cook.  Even with family and parents who encouraged and uplifted us, it didn't matter.  The shame and humility of being big of feeling like people only wanted to be with us because of what we could potentially offer based on our size, created a life of memories that could not be erased.  So what do we do with those memories?

It's 2014 and with all the body positivity, fat activism, and even a ton of size sexy encouragement it can still be hard to breath during times like the holidays whether you are single or taken.  We have to take those fiery darts of hatred filled comments and remarks and turn them into our positives.  We have to reclaim our minds and our hearts as we prepare for the new year and know our own self worth.  Take a moment and say this with me, "I LOVE ME"... say it again.. "I LOVE ME."  This is where BIG LOVE truly begins.  I has to happen on the inside.  Before anyone can you love, you must first practice and know that you love yourself.  
Yes, people want to be around us because we are warm and squishy.  That is perfectly okay.  I love kissing babies because they are cuddly and they smell sometimes like baby vomit. lol  That which didn't kill, now becomes your weapon.  Use it and remember, a relationship will never validate you.  A man or a woman will never be able to make you feel as good as you can make yourself feel.   Yes, being single or taken can get lonely sometimes and you may not feel as appreciated as you once were, but this is when you turn to the mirror and remind yourself "I LOVE ME, EVEN WHEN IT FEELS LIKE NO ONE ELSE DOES.  MY LOVE IS THE BIGGEST LOVE OF THEM ALL." 
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